Check out these clever pregnancy comebacks
Photo by Fallon Michael on Unsplash
Let me say this - you never know what you may get when you encounter a pregnant woman. I would start crying if you told me my hair looked good. I would politely tell you to"go f&*$ yourself" if you asked how I was feeling. Some days, I would hug you just for talking to me. With all that being said, you should really think before you speak to a pregnant woman. Trust me.
I wish I had come up with these Clever Pregnancy Comebacks! Here are some highlights:
I know!! It’s like I’m growing a whole baby or something!
Holy sh%^, you too!
I don’t know why either, all I consume these days is cocaine and Diet Sprite. Weird, eh?
“How many more babies are you going to have?”
Somewhere between one and 47.
It depends on how many we sell.
We plan to keep going until we have an ugly one.
“Should you be eating that?”
Well, seeing as you’re already eating your foot, I figured I may as well eat this.
No, I should be eating lots of it.
Why, because you think it’s as dangerous as asking me that question?
“You still haven’t had that baby yet?”
I’m trying to hold it in so I can finish a novel I’m working on.
Oh, I had it, I just left it in the car today.
I had it yesterday but I’m trying to shoplift this basketball so could you bugger off?
“You better sleep now because once that baby gets here…”
Why!? Don’t they sleep?! Next you’ll tell me they poop too.
(lower your voice then say) Actually, I don’t sleep now. I just sneak into your bedroom and watch you sleep. You sleep like an angel. My secret, dirty, little angel.
Sleep is for ugly people.
“You should NOT be drinking caffeine.”
(or doing, eating, touching, etc. something else that’s none of their damn business).
The Voices say I can have caffeine. I don’t mess with the Voices.
You shouldn’t be wearing those jeans (etc.) but I didn’t bring that to your attention.
It’s not caffeine. It’s doctor prescribed laxative tea because this pregnancy is making me so constipated I have hemorrhoids. Oh, sorry, was that too much information?
You’re right, tequila is better.